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Risk Assessment

This love stuff...it's fucking risky.

This has the capacity to knock me down and steal my soul and I already survived that twice, so why am I putting myself in that position again?

And it's hard. It's so hard. The unpacking of stuff in person, and then being far away and trying to connect via glitchy video or texts that go unanswered. I am way too fucking anxious to deal with texts that go unanswered.

Then add a Fucking Pandemic and I don't know when I'll see him again. All those dates in the calendar have been deleted.

There are conversations I want to have in person (Feeling Dismissed. Not Being Seen.) that can't happen in person so why bother?

I've lived without this. I can do it again.
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